No Sweat
I bought a couple of t shirts and found something interesting on the tag. It read "Sweatshop Free". As in the shirt was made in a sweatshop-free environment. The big clothing manufacturers might want to lose the hyphen, because at first glance it almost looks like "Sweatshop=Free" which has an entirely different meaning.
It's great to know that I didn' t expoit anyone in my quest for quality casual/athletic attire. But, I hate the idea that doing the right thing has turned into a marketing concept. Instead of just quietly implementing fair employment practices -- the clothing companies, (now that they've actually found out that people do care) have come around. But instead of just doing the decent and humane thing, they feel the need to advertise it. The clothing companies are literally "patting themselves on the back."
The whole concept kind of reminds me of "dolphin safe" tuna. Which, became a huge staple when choosing canned fish. The Tee Shirt companies really need to exploit this non exploitation angle. They should call them "Korean Child Safe" Tee shirts. And don't put it on the tag -- put it on the front of the shirt.
And, the Tee Shirt Companies could put a picture of one of the children they fired from the sweat shops when they adopted this new policy. You could put a different unemployed Korean child on each shirt and we could have our American children collect them like Pokemon.
This is not a new angle. Other industries have made a cottage industry out of touting the discontinuation of abuse in order to sellmore units. 15 years ago the makeup companies start lableing products "no animal testing". Then came the dolphins. Followed by the furious protesting of the de-peltling of the furry friends which lead to pleather actually becoming socially acceptable. And now finally that we've run out of animals to defend, the corporate machine has moved onto actual humans. How decent of them. Good for them I guess, I mean it would be nice if these companies could find a way to not only not exploit these kids... But, also find a way to divert some of the profits from the $30 undergarments and send a little to the kids that live under those thatched roofs.
Maybe that's asking too much. We should be content in knowing that children are now safe from Corporate America's grasp in order to make a buck. Unless of course you happen to be an embryo with a nice juicy stem cell in a major pharmaceutical lab.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Kung Fu
All people that take martial arts are the same. They get really excited about it because they are taking the most elite class. And every guy who takes Kung Fu is taking a form so specialized that only four people in the world know it. One of them is dead, one is in a Monastery, one is running a Dojo in Tokyo. And one happens to be teaching it out of his garage in Encino. Your buddy met this guy when he was an extra on a Microsoft commercial. He was the stuntman's assistant who was hooking up the principals to the wires and just so happens to know that he's accepting only a couple of new students.
"Dude, this guy is the only guy in America that teaches Wu Pau --- loosely translated that means Tiger Balm Dragon Wing Drunkey Monkey Elbow. You can kill a man in two moves, two moves!" Your friend never mentions the fact if you were in a situation where you needed to kill a man in two moves, the other guy would probably have gun; and that's only one move. "The instructior, Master Kevin learned this from the guy who taught Bruce Lee. It's always from the guy who taught Bruce Lee. And Master Kevin has a jar with Bruce Lee's blood in it and he takes a teaspoon full of it and mixes it with his tea every day!"
And the instructor always gets mad at the class for not knowing the moves. When he was studying they had to learn the same moves in ten minutes -- bound in chains! While being chased by rabid Dobermans!!! ANd then comes the ultimatum, "If you don't learn this I can't teach you the next move. And believe me you, that move is so incredible -- your life will change forever. You will be able to walk through the middle of Compton at four in the morning with hundred dollar bills taped to your naked body, and NOBODY will touch you!"
The most important thing about martial arts classes is the following: DO NOT stick around after class. Get out as soon as possible. The people that take martial arts take it for two reasons. One, the kind of guy who is just into the whole culture and discipline thing. Two, the adrenaline junkies. And it's hard to tell the difference until you have a pair of nun-chuks tenderizing your ballsack.
The minutes after class turns into amateur hour so fast your head will spin. Before you know it, the instructor has a pair of Sai's out and the adrenaline junkies are swinging all sorts of swords, and other Japanese B Movie paraphernalia Ken keeps behind his boa constricor's aquarium. No difference from when I was twelve or thirty, it always ends with a severe case NadCrack-itis. That's when Ken decides class is really over and calls upstairs to have his mom bring down a package of frozen vegetables to place on your aching crotch.
So, don't stay after class. Nothing good ever comes of it, be it cracked nuts or Ken's Mom inviting you upstairs for Salisbury Steak and frozen vegetables.
All people that take martial arts are the same. They get really excited about it because they are taking the most elite class. And every guy who takes Kung Fu is taking a form so specialized that only four people in the world know it. One of them is dead, one is in a Monastery, one is running a Dojo in Tokyo. And one happens to be teaching it out of his garage in Encino. Your buddy met this guy when he was an extra on a Microsoft commercial. He was the stuntman's assistant who was hooking up the principals to the wires and just so happens to know that he's accepting only a couple of new students.
"Dude, this guy is the only guy in America that teaches Wu Pau --- loosely translated that means Tiger Balm Dragon Wing Drunkey Monkey Elbow. You can kill a man in two moves, two moves!" Your friend never mentions the fact if you were in a situation where you needed to kill a man in two moves, the other guy would probably have gun; and that's only one move. "The instructior, Master Kevin learned this from the guy who taught Bruce Lee. It's always from the guy who taught Bruce Lee. And Master Kevin has a jar with Bruce Lee's blood in it and he takes a teaspoon full of it and mixes it with his tea every day!"
And the instructor always gets mad at the class for not knowing the moves. When he was studying they had to learn the same moves in ten minutes -- bound in chains! While being chased by rabid Dobermans!!! ANd then comes the ultimatum, "If you don't learn this I can't teach you the next move. And believe me you, that move is so incredible -- your life will change forever. You will be able to walk through the middle of Compton at four in the morning with hundred dollar bills taped to your naked body, and NOBODY will touch you!"
The most important thing about martial arts classes is the following: DO NOT stick around after class. Get out as soon as possible. The people that take martial arts take it for two reasons. One, the kind of guy who is just into the whole culture and discipline thing. Two, the adrenaline junkies. And it's hard to tell the difference until you have a pair of nun-chuks tenderizing your ballsack.
The minutes after class turns into amateur hour so fast your head will spin. Before you know it, the instructor has a pair of Sai's out and the adrenaline junkies are swinging all sorts of swords, and other Japanese B Movie paraphernalia Ken keeps behind his boa constricor's aquarium. No difference from when I was twelve or thirty, it always ends with a severe case NadCrack-itis. That's when Ken decides class is really over and calls upstairs to have his mom bring down a package of frozen vegetables to place on your aching crotch.
So, don't stay after class. Nothing good ever comes of it, be it cracked nuts or Ken's Mom inviting you upstairs for Salisbury Steak and frozen vegetables.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
I'm working on the film. Finishing up, fine tuning, etc.
I figured I'd write an article on how to make a COMEDY short film for under $3 G's.
The first and foremost is a good idea. Give it time on this issue. Don't settle for anything less than something that really lights people's eyes up. Do not feel pressure to do something just because you think it's time. You need an idea that inspires. An most importantly, stay away from anything that is too timely or has an expiration date on it. I am reminded of the thousands of parodies floating out there. They are funny, but for 3 grand you might want something that will be funny for a awhile. Parodies of movies that just came out are a no no. Parodies of classics might work. But just make sure you don't combine them with popular events. Parodies of movies like the Deer Hunter meets the Janet Jackson event this week titled "The Bra Hunter" a short where Justin is forced by gunpoint to tear off Janet's bra without exposing her nip might be humorous on Mad TV this weekend -- but that's about the shelf life of a bit like that. Feel free to take that idea if you are so inclined.
Once you have an idea that's so good that when you run into people, they ask you when you're going to do it... Get started.
Let me go through the main points.
SAG: You're going to have SAG actors in your movie? Make sure you get an Experimental Film Waiver. You can get that on their site. It's a pain in the boo-tee. So, don't put off filling out the paperwork.
WORKER'S COMP: They are going to insist over at SAG that you have Worker's Comp for the cast. It's $480 through the state and good for 6 months. If I were to do it again, I'd have split it with another film-maker. Or made two within the 6 month period. Again, do the paperwork early
CAST: The Actorsite, Backstage West, The Actor's Network, Actor's Access as well as submissions to the websites for ImprovOlympic (they also have a bulleting board) and ACME theater are good ways to find comedic actors. The West Hollywood Civic Center rents audition space for like $40 bucks a night.
You need at least two recognizable faces. This helps when you bargain with other cast and crew. If so and so is doing the movie -- it must be good. And if so and so is doing the movie for free... Then how can anyone else get all cocky about pay?
Make friends with a casting agent. Also, just send out correspondence to someone you dig. Why not send a letter to the neighbor on Newhart, maybe he's free.
CREW: The Filmaker's Alliance and IFP are both subscription services that can be helpful. IFP does have listings on site that are free.
BUT! The best way to find crew is to make friends with a crew. Either find someone who's on a crew. The reality crews are a great source because they are all up and coming cheap talent that are always looking for a gig. If you make a freind on a crew like that -- they could introduce you to sound guys, editors, the whole kit and kaboodle.
COLLEGE KIDS
I don't know. I have done it. And, my experience shows that the college kids turn out to be great long term contacts. Like kids I met 4 years ago and who did a decent job for me -- are now really good. And pretty open to helping me out since I was one of the few to pay them just a few short years ago.
LOCATION
Listen to me closely. Keep the shoot outside (in CA). I'm telling you, not dealing with complicated lighting situations and spaces really helps. And, there are so many great outdoor spaces in CA. Just make sure you have permission to be on the property. If you have to go inside. Really try to keep it just one location. I found that writing around this objective actually served the plot of my latest film. It was about a 30ish guy who's under his Parent's thumb, but was having a party. So whenever anybody asked to go inside his house -- he had to explain that people weren't allowed inside. Which of course only heightened how much of a loser the character was.
TWO DAYS OF SHOOTING
That way if you have to pick up one day at a later point, it will be easier. Anything over two days will run up the budge and make only one pickup day a lot harder. SHOOT ON THE WEEKENDS! Most rental places have cheaper weekend rental rates.
COVERAGE
Really. After each scene make sure there's a list of which shots were taken. Look at it. I know you're busy but look at that shot list after each scen and make sure you have good takes and reactions and closeups of all the major players.
CATERING
Self cater. You'll be surprised how much cheaper it is to do COSTCO and jsut serve finger food. I did two days for under $225 and that was breakfast and lunch and lite dinner for over 50 people!
PA's
You can never have too many. Ask all of your friends and have as many as ten and as few as 5 (no fewer). You'll need at least two for crew. One to communicate with and find actors for you. One to do the SAG paperwork and two to run craft services.
EQUIPMENT
VER Rentals in Glendale. The Pan 24P is the best. It's 24 frames per second and looks insanely beautifull and rents for get this, less than $200 for Friday night thru Monday morning! ($3 G's Deposit -- so be careful) Ask for the wide angle lens adapter.
If you're lucky some of your crew will have their own equipment. Most sound guys have a boom and mixer.
Ask your DP what kind of a light kit you'll need. If you're doing outdoors -- it will be a small inexpensive set. If you're shooting inside, more lights, more space taken up in your car hauling the lights and more expense and a bigger deposit -- see I warned you!
COSTUMES
Oh, yeah. Big one. Don't have any. But, I found some people on the net. Not easy, but try everywhere that deals in costuming, schools, universities, etc.
MAKEUP
I went online and searched a lot of student cosmetics classes and schools and got insane responses. Sooooo many kids are looking to get on set experience. Use two at least for a cast of ten+. There will be a kit fee.
Make sure you do photo clippings of people that you want your cast to look like. I'm telling you -- it helps so much.
PAYING PEOPLE
I pay for expenses, not for talent. Remember, you're not getting paid. It makes no sense to pay for something that will only help someone's career. I know you'll probably feel like guilt from a few peeps and consider paying them. But, a little to some people is a break in confidence and respect to the others who did not get paid. But, that isn't fair toIf someone can afford to say no to no money -- believe me, they can afford to say no to a little money. If someone uses their own equipment, you should pay to rent the equipment. If they ask.
MONEY SAVED
The money saved goes to better food. And tapes and dvd's of the short to all involved. And to a great premiere party.
Alright, I'm tired. No one is going to read this anyway so, goodnight.
I figured I'd write an article on how to make a COMEDY short film for under $3 G's.
The first and foremost is a good idea. Give it time on this issue. Don't settle for anything less than something that really lights people's eyes up. Do not feel pressure to do something just because you think it's time. You need an idea that inspires. An most importantly, stay away from anything that is too timely or has an expiration date on it. I am reminded of the thousands of parodies floating out there. They are funny, but for 3 grand you might want something that will be funny for a awhile. Parodies of movies that just came out are a no no. Parodies of classics might work. But just make sure you don't combine them with popular events. Parodies of movies like the Deer Hunter meets the Janet Jackson event this week titled "The Bra Hunter" a short where Justin is forced by gunpoint to tear off Janet's bra without exposing her nip might be humorous on Mad TV this weekend -- but that's about the shelf life of a bit like that. Feel free to take that idea if you are so inclined.
Once you have an idea that's so good that when you run into people, they ask you when you're going to do it... Get started.
Let me go through the main points.
SAG: You're going to have SAG actors in your movie? Make sure you get an Experimental Film Waiver. You can get that on their site. It's a pain in the boo-tee. So, don't put off filling out the paperwork.
WORKER'S COMP: They are going to insist over at SAG that you have Worker's Comp for the cast. It's $480 through the state and good for 6 months. If I were to do it again, I'd have split it with another film-maker. Or made two within the 6 month period. Again, do the paperwork early
CAST: The Actorsite, Backstage West, The Actor's Network, Actor's Access as well as submissions to the websites for ImprovOlympic (they also have a bulleting board) and ACME theater are good ways to find comedic actors. The West Hollywood Civic Center rents audition space for like $40 bucks a night.
You need at least two recognizable faces. This helps when you bargain with other cast and crew. If so and so is doing the movie -- it must be good. And if so and so is doing the movie for free... Then how can anyone else get all cocky about pay?
Make friends with a casting agent. Also, just send out correspondence to someone you dig. Why not send a letter to the neighbor on Newhart, maybe he's free.
CREW: The Filmaker's Alliance and IFP are both subscription services that can be helpful. IFP does have listings on site that are free.
BUT! The best way to find crew is to make friends with a crew. Either find someone who's on a crew. The reality crews are a great source because they are all up and coming cheap talent that are always looking for a gig. If you make a freind on a crew like that -- they could introduce you to sound guys, editors, the whole kit and kaboodle.
COLLEGE KIDS
I don't know. I have done it. And, my experience shows that the college kids turn out to be great long term contacts. Like kids I met 4 years ago and who did a decent job for me -- are now really good. And pretty open to helping me out since I was one of the few to pay them just a few short years ago.
LOCATION
Listen to me closely. Keep the shoot outside (in CA). I'm telling you, not dealing with complicated lighting situations and spaces really helps. And, there are so many great outdoor spaces in CA. Just make sure you have permission to be on the property. If you have to go inside. Really try to keep it just one location. I found that writing around this objective actually served the plot of my latest film. It was about a 30ish guy who's under his Parent's thumb, but was having a party. So whenever anybody asked to go inside his house -- he had to explain that people weren't allowed inside. Which of course only heightened how much of a loser the character was.
TWO DAYS OF SHOOTING
That way if you have to pick up one day at a later point, it will be easier. Anything over two days will run up the budge and make only one pickup day a lot harder. SHOOT ON THE WEEKENDS! Most rental places have cheaper weekend rental rates.
COVERAGE
Really. After each scene make sure there's a list of which shots were taken. Look at it. I know you're busy but look at that shot list after each scen and make sure you have good takes and reactions and closeups of all the major players.
CATERING
Self cater. You'll be surprised how much cheaper it is to do COSTCO and jsut serve finger food. I did two days for under $225 and that was breakfast and lunch and lite dinner for over 50 people!
PA's
You can never have too many. Ask all of your friends and have as many as ten and as few as 5 (no fewer). You'll need at least two for crew. One to communicate with and find actors for you. One to do the SAG paperwork and two to run craft services.
EQUIPMENT
VER Rentals in Glendale. The Pan 24P is the best. It's 24 frames per second and looks insanely beautifull and rents for get this, less than $200 for Friday night thru Monday morning! ($3 G's Deposit -- so be careful) Ask for the wide angle lens adapter.
If you're lucky some of your crew will have their own equipment. Most sound guys have a boom and mixer.
Ask your DP what kind of a light kit you'll need. If you're doing outdoors -- it will be a small inexpensive set. If you're shooting inside, more lights, more space taken up in your car hauling the lights and more expense and a bigger deposit -- see I warned you!
COSTUMES
Oh, yeah. Big one. Don't have any. But, I found some people on the net. Not easy, but try everywhere that deals in costuming, schools, universities, etc.
MAKEUP
I went online and searched a lot of student cosmetics classes and schools and got insane responses. Sooooo many kids are looking to get on set experience. Use two at least for a cast of ten+. There will be a kit fee.
Make sure you do photo clippings of people that you want your cast to look like. I'm telling you -- it helps so much.
PAYING PEOPLE
I pay for expenses, not for talent. Remember, you're not getting paid. It makes no sense to pay for something that will only help someone's career. I know you'll probably feel like guilt from a few peeps and consider paying them. But, a little to some people is a break in confidence and respect to the others who did not get paid. But, that isn't fair toIf someone can afford to say no to no money -- believe me, they can afford to say no to a little money. If someone uses their own equipment, you should pay to rent the equipment. If they ask.
MONEY SAVED
The money saved goes to better food. And tapes and dvd's of the short to all involved. And to a great premiere party.
Alright, I'm tired. No one is going to read this anyway so, goodnight.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
We're Sorry.
Signed,
Ms Jackson
I think this event will be the one that changes the world as we know it. Time will stop. Oceans will spill over. Swarms of locusts will raid farming communities and pluck children from their beds.
I'm torn. Torn because I realize it was only a matter of time.
Torn because I don't think we're ready.
The most common argument is "what's the big damn deal, they show breasts in Europe." They do and don't don't do a lot of things in Europe folks. It doesn't mean we should. However, I truly believe their is one thing that makes promiscuity and or the broadcasting of naked peeps very different here. We are not healthy. We are the locusts. Looking for the next trend or chapter in social more or deviance that we feel it's time to tackle to shake up the conservatives.
But, we never shake anything up anymore. We just gorge ourselve on immediate gratification. Art is dead. Social consciousness is dead. Freedom of speech has been raped and cosmetically altered to resemble a gruesome hybrid of Joan Rivers, Tammy Faye Baker and George Bush.
We are not a country. We are a carnival. A rodeo. A flea market.
So, show all the boobs you want Network tv execs. I personally think the only way to raise the bar is to lower it completely. Give the country their lowest common denominator. It's like buffets in Vegas. At first we show up, gorge ourselves and then by the third day we realize we'd rather have one good well-prepared entree rather than a feast of mediocre fried crap.
So, let the networks pump out deep fried reality tv. Let the evenening news set agendas so self-serving that they pretty much don't even look out the window to write the reports.
Let the crap rain down on us until we see that we are coverd in S@#$#. And then, finally. We'll see it all for what it is. Little babies banging pots and pans -- trying to get an audience. Trust me Europe had it's coliseum. Egypt had it's Pyramids. They were both built on greed and hate. Now we have ours. It was crap then -- but thousands of years later they became wonders. So give it afew dozen centuries. We'll get bored of it.
And then Ms. Jackson, you might have to actually write a song to get back in the press.
JT
Signed,
Ms Jackson
I think this event will be the one that changes the world as we know it. Time will stop. Oceans will spill over. Swarms of locusts will raid farming communities and pluck children from their beds.
I'm torn. Torn because I realize it was only a matter of time.
Torn because I don't think we're ready.
The most common argument is "what's the big damn deal, they show breasts in Europe." They do and don't don't do a lot of things in Europe folks. It doesn't mean we should. However, I truly believe their is one thing that makes promiscuity and or the broadcasting of naked peeps very different here. We are not healthy. We are the locusts. Looking for the next trend or chapter in social more or deviance that we feel it's time to tackle to shake up the conservatives.
But, we never shake anything up anymore. We just gorge ourselve on immediate gratification. Art is dead. Social consciousness is dead. Freedom of speech has been raped and cosmetically altered to resemble a gruesome hybrid of Joan Rivers, Tammy Faye Baker and George Bush.
We are not a country. We are a carnival. A rodeo. A flea market.
So, show all the boobs you want Network tv execs. I personally think the only way to raise the bar is to lower it completely. Give the country their lowest common denominator. It's like buffets in Vegas. At first we show up, gorge ourselves and then by the third day we realize we'd rather have one good well-prepared entree rather than a feast of mediocre fried crap.
So, let the networks pump out deep fried reality tv. Let the evenening news set agendas so self-serving that they pretty much don't even look out the window to write the reports.
Let the crap rain down on us until we see that we are coverd in S@#$#. And then, finally. We'll see it all for what it is. Little babies banging pots and pans -- trying to get an audience. Trust me Europe had it's coliseum. Egypt had it's Pyramids. They were both built on greed and hate. Now we have ours. It was crap then -- but thousands of years later they became wonders. So give it afew dozen centuries. We'll get bored of it.
And then Ms. Jackson, you might have to actually write a song to get back in the press.
JT
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